Single During The Holidays
|
Mistletoe. Holiday parties. New Years kiss at midnight. This time of year can be challenging for singles. With such an emphasis on family togetherness and couples exchanging heart-felt gifts, it's hard not to hear the message ? the holidays are not for me.
At family get-togethers you get grilled about what's going on in the "romance department." In-laws, whose company you cherished all year long, become reminders that you don't have a "special someone." No singles shopping for gifts appear in the barrage of holiday commercials. If you are single, and not dating anyone, these holiday images can lead to emotions ranging from sadness to depression.
So, what is the best way to combat the holiday blues? Although the following strategies can be applied throughout the year, they are particularly useful during the holidays.
Don't deny your feelings.
Emotions are neither right nor wrong. They are just how you feel about your situation. Allow yourself to be sad, without the guilt. However, be conscious of how you act on your feelings. Actions to emotions can be right or wrong. Anticipate before going to family events how you will handle dating status questions. It's best to have a pre-planned strategy of how to politely change the subject. When asked about your love life, a simple, "There's no news in that area, but here's what I am doing at work", might be just enough to redirect the conversation.
Adjust your view.
See the couples in your life as you have seen them throughout the year. They haven't really changed. Only the environment in which you see them has altered. Anticipate whom you will be meeting during holiday events. Have fond memories ready to share. Take time to remember and cherish why they mean so much to you.
Be a successful single.
A life partner enhances who you are ? they do not "complete" you. Understand that you do not need another person to make your life whole. Take this time to discover what the holidays really mean to you and start your own holiday traditions that reflect your personal values. Realize and appreciate that this is a stage in your life ? not a reflection of who you are.
Break traditions.
Who says you have to spend the holidays a certain way? Maybe serving meals at the homeless shelter is more in keeping with your values, than "shopping till your drop." Take some of the time you would spend with family and share it with the folks at your local nursing home. It is easier to justify limiting your time at the uncomfortable holiday functions when you have a good excuse.
Change your latitude.
If visiting the family or attending holiday functions is really going to be overwhelming, cut your visits short and take a single's cruise or an island vacation. Let the couples be reminded of the benefits of being able to pick up and go.
Limit or avoid alcohol.
Alcohol is a depressant and will intensify your feelings of sadness. Accept that you are feeling sad and handle the emotion as you would any time during the year. Do things that will bring humor into your life. Rent funny movies to offset the holiday features that are shown this time of year.
Give yourself the gift of home.
If you have not made your house or apartment your home, consider doing so. Fill your home with things that reflect who you are. Many single's homes are nothing more than storage for their "stuff". The art you choose says, "This is me." Buy some. Add some color to your home. Let gift givers know what you would like for your home. Set needs aside for once and focus on wants.
Being single during the holidays can be difficult, but it doesn't have to be traumatic. Anticipate bumps in the road and plan accordingly. Take ownership of the holidays and create your own traditions. Limit your time at holiday events that bring discomfort by volunteering for local organizations. Remember, there are no set rules for how to enjoy the season ? find out what works for you and "have a happy holiday."
About The Author
Ron Prewitt is a Relationship Coach in private practice. He helps singles and couples with creating loving, nurturing, and supportive relationships in their lives. For more information call (702) 460-6489 or visit www.ronprewitt.com
|
|
|
Valentines Day Love Letter - The Best And Most Romantic Gift Is Also The Least Expensive!
You don't have to spend a fortune this Valentine's Day to show your partner that you love them!One of the most romantic, creative and inexpensive gifts you can give your partner this Valentine's Day is a heartfelt love letter, written from the bottom of your heart...(related: Holidays)
Unique Gift Ideas For The 21st Century
As a personal growth specialist, I like to think I'm hip. I like to think I am avant garde. I like to think I am on the cutting edge ? despite what everyone else around thinks about me.I read last year that the growth sector of the future is in healthcare and wellness. So, being the hip, avant garde, cutting edge kind of guy I think I am, I decided I would give very unique and personal healthcare birthday gifts.For Aunt Marsha, I settled on a facelift. I was so excited, I just couldn't wait to see her face. Either the old one or the new one would do."What's this?""It's an appointment for a facelift.""A facelift?"Yes. Next week.""An appointment for a facelift? Next week?""Tha...(related: Holidays)
Creating Your Own Holiday Traditions
I love this time of year -- decorations on the houses, a cold nip in the air, beautiful music everywhere you go. I often have a hard time understanding why so many people get so FRUSTRATED during the holidays -- until...(related: Holidays)
Its Party Time - Lets Decorate!
Holidays are here and so is the spirit of partying. Here are some wonderful ideas for transforming your home into an innovative party scenario and giving your guests an occasion that will forever remain etched in their memories.1. Entrance: Do up your entrance. The entrance to your home should be magnificent and welcoming. Line the driveway with luminaries. Place a guest book at the front door for expressing sentiments. Clean up clutter near your entran...(related: Holidays)
Christmas Gift Ideas
Christmas is such a special day. It is a day of giving and receiving love, joy and happiness. The Christmas spirit is very pure; just like the immaculate conception of Mother Mary and the birth of Jesus Christ. By giving away Christmas gifts, an individual experiences the joys of giving. The best thing about Christmas gifts is that they need not cost the skies to make an impression. When gifts are excha...(related: Holidays)
Birthday Flowers
Birthdays are one thing you can count on. We all have them and I'm willing to bet, all of your family members and friends have them too. Sometimes birthdays seem to roll around quickly. You can't believe it's been a whole year since you found the perfect gift for your cousin Susie, and now it's time to deliver again.Whether the birthday boy or girl is a friend, lover or just an acquaintance, flowers can be ordered and designed to say just the right thing. Flowers have so much going for them, it's a wonder you haven't thought of this before!Think of the blossoms as building blocks. Each has color, texture and form. They each have a personality and many have a tradition. The rose is elegant and says love. The ca...(related: Holidays)
Traditional Vs. Modern Anniversary Gifts
Most people are familiar with the traditional materials list that good etiquette requires us use as a guide when selecting a gift to commemorate a wedding anniversary. If you are like most people, you might find it a bit challenging to convert the materials on the list into an acceptable gift idea. There may be more choices available to you than you realize. Do you know tha...(related: Holidays)
The Only Way To Turn New Year Resolutions Into Reality!
So you ate, drank and spent too much over the Holidays. Now you are overweight, bloated, tired and broke, and you are promising yourself that you are g...(related: Holidays)
Find Great Halloween Costume Ideas! Have The Most Creative Costumes This Year
Usually, the hardest part about Halloween is finding the perfect costume and top accessories for your ghoulish creation. Well, now it doesn't have to be! With the countless, great resources available on the web, finding Halloween costume ideas for the adults, kids and the rest of the family will be the easy part! Now, you'll just have to figure out what everyone wants to dress up as!So where do you begin? Let us help you! Take the time to browse through our site for some great tips on creating the your favorite costumes. Think outside the box,...(related: Holidays)
site-map - Copyright © 2006 | Contact Webmaster | All Rights Reserved. | Holidays